Trusting in Him, not thinking it still needs to be me

Lord, I didn't get out what I wanted to say. I just left the time with that person. I believe you directed me to have that conversation, even though after you led me and I made the appointment that I began to be nervous about what to say. I decided to trust you on the way to the appointment and prayed ahead of time for the conversation and to trust you through it, as I spoke, for what was said. And there were some amazing things said. Things that came out, the way I had hoped. You were moving through me and helping me with the words to speak. Then I left and started rehearsing all that was said and suddenly I am saying, "Darn, why didn't I say that?" And then I began to reinforce that in my thinking more and more, to the point that I started to get down on myself and nervous and mad and feeling like I need to reach out to that person and get those things said. 

Oh God, I am doing it again to you. I am making it out that you are not in control, but I am. That the only way to fix something is for me to get my point across perfectly. But I don't have to do that. I can rely on You. I need to rely on You. I rely on You God. I trust in You. You can work in ways that I cannot work. You can make changes in people way better than I can. I can depend on You and trust in You. It doesn't have to always be my words that make the difference or will make the difference. You can work. I can trust in You. That doesn't mean it will work out because I have to allow You to work, in your perfect time, in Your way. 

You led me to that conversation. I prayed about it. I had it. And despite my shortcomings and mistakes there was still You working and speaking through me in that conversation and You God can continue to work, despite my missteps, despite my 'What could have happened' feelings. It doesn't matter because You are there. You are present. 

So keep me focused God now on what my responsibility is and that is to call on you. I am to keep calling on You and praying in the way that You are leading me to pray for this person and the other person involved. That is my role. When you give me opportunities to speak, then great, and I will trust you through that. That's the point, in You leading, preparing, being in the middle of it, and afterwards -- trusting in You. Not leaning on my own understanding. And You will keep the paths straight. 

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